Sometimes a mom realizes her partner was like having an extra child—or worse…
Broken Rules
My husband worked long hours all week, and the kids only saw him briefly at night—usually after they were already in bed. But on weekends, he was with them nonstop and broke every rule. He let them climb on the kitchen counter, play outside by the street instead of the yard, found it funny when they talked back or used bad language, and gave them sweets before lunch.
In short, he ignored all our rules, and I started the week on Monday with unruly, tantrum-prone kids. Tuesday was still tough, but by Wednesday they began settling down, and Thursday and Friday were calm and well-behaved. Then the weekend came, and the whole nightmare started over.
After we divorced and my ex only saw the kids every other week, my quality of life improved dramatically because his influence on the kids was no longer so overwhelming—and negative.
Diet
My husband was gluten-sensitive, so since the divorce, I’ve freed up so much time by not having to cook separate meals for him. (And not having to listen to his constant complaints—that was the most draining part.)
The Manager
My home with the kids is my workplace, and I’m the boss. My husband acted like a rebellious coworker who sabotaged everything he could. I had no choice but to let him go.
The Worst Kid
For years, I endured because I was afraid of what would happen if I divorced. Then I couldn’t take it anymore and left my husband, dreading the tough life that awaited me as a single mom. To my surprise, I didn’t get busier—I suddenly had half as much to do! Why? Because it turned out my ex expected me to take care of him, and he was my most challenging “child.”
Dozens of Shirts
I can’t even express how much easier life is since I no longer have to iron shirts every day or listen to constant criticism!
Mornings
Five days a week, I handled breakfast for the kids, and everything ran smoothly. We had a routine, and everyone knew their role. Then the weekend came, and my husband turned everything upside down. The kids didn’t set the table, ate messily, left half their scrambled eggs untouched—because they were busy devouring Nutella toast—and didn’t help unload the dishwasher, leaving a mess as they ran off to the yard with dad.
It got so bad I asked my husband not to join us for breakfast on weekends because I just couldn’t handle it. He got deeply offended, misunderstanding that I was keeping him from having breakfast with his kids. Since the divorce, everything is so much better.
Drama
When my ex wasn’t around, there was no tantrums, fights, tension, or hurt feelings. Without him, we ran like a well-oiled machine with the three kids. When he was there, it felt like everything fell apart. I had to admit—he was the problem.
Control
My ex tried to be a good dad but didn’t understand that parenting only works when there are rules and a routine we stick to. He said I always “had control, couldn’t be spontaneous, and was bossy.”
My response? I went to my mom’s for a long weekend and let him take the lead as a dad. Needless to say, I came home Sunday night to a house in ruins, one kid crying loudly, all of them in dirty pajamas, and as soon as they saw me, they asked for food. I had to divorce because my ex couldn’t step up.
The Vacation
Once my husband was sick and couldn’t come with us to the cabin. I had the most carefree week of my life with the kids, and that’s when I realized how much better it was without him.
On Their Own
No matter how many times I explained the morning and evening routines to my husband, he couldn’t keep up. I was in the hospital for three days, and he was late to work all three days, dressed poorly, missing school supplies, bringing the kids to school hungry, and at night, I had to calm my daughters on the phone because they were upset.
My husband flipped out when I told him life was much easier without him around—and over time, it became clear that’s why I divorced.
