Bien Logo

"My mom was mad at me for getting sick and ruining our vacation." What childhood experience still feels traumatic today?

Szőke Angéla3 min read
Share:
"My mom was mad at me for getting sick and ruining our vacation." What childhood experience still feels traumatic today? — Family
In this article

Negative moments from childhood shape us well into adulthood.

The Cicada

I'm a florist with PTSD triggered by peonies. Once, my mom was picking peonies in the garden and handed me the stems she cut. The flowers attracted bugs, and when I had a big bouquet, I spotted a huge cicada on the petals. The whole bunch flew into the air as I screamed and ran for twenty minutes. To this day, I can’t work with peonies. If a bride orders them, my colleague arranges the flowers instead.

The Knives

My grandmother used to hit my mom, so she promised never to raise a hand against me. Instead, when I misbehaved, I had to watch her stab knives into my favorite stuffed toys. I was little and didn’t understand they didn’t feel pain—I saw them as friends. Honestly, this “discipline” felt worse than being hit because even now, my stomach tightens when I see a knife.

The Mane

My parents divorced, and I spent the first half of summer alone with my dad. He couldn’t manage or comb my waist-length hair, so he shaved it all off! I cried for three days straight. My hair still reaches my waist, and I only cut an inch when the ends get really frizzy.

Sad girl portrait

The Pills

My mom had an unsuccessful suicide attempt. She took a bunch of pills, but they managed to wash out her stomach in time. During an argument, my dad cruelly told her she was too stupid even to kill herself. A week later, she succeeded. I was 13 then, and since, I haven’t taken any medication—not even an aspirin.

The Legs

I was eight when my mom told me I sat like a “slut.” My knees weren’t closed, but I wore long jeans, so I didn’t understand why it was a problem. She said if she caught me sitting “shamelessly” again, she’d take a knife and "stick it between my legs." Even now, at 38, I always sit with my knees tightly closed.

Girl leaning on window

The Canadian Goose

My husband is Canadian, and he told me they call wild geese “Canadian geese” for a reason—they can be really aggressive. I was 16 when a wild goose approached us in the park demanding food. My friends laughed at me because I was almost terrified of the bird. At home, I told my mom, who said she wasn’t surprised. It turned out a goose attacked me when I was three—and though I don’t remember it, the trauma stuck with me. Even at 30, I still fear Canadian geese.

Pop

When I was little, my dad suddenly lifted me up—more like yanked me up—to fly like an airplane, and both my shoulders popped out, pop-pop. My mom put them back in, and since then, I’ve never dared to raise my arms above my head.

Left Behind

My siblings and I were so excited for our first trip to the sea. I was eight and counting down the days, but two days before we left, I got seriously sick and couldn’t go. My dad ended up traveling with my two siblings, and my mom stayed home with me. If missing out wasn’t punishment enough, my mom was mad at me too. She resented me for ruining her vacation and didn’t hide it. Because of this, I still feel awful whenever I get sick. A deep guilt washes over me that I don’t think I’ll ever outgrow.

Related reads

"Some days, I just don't enjoy being a parent": 3 single parents get brutally honest — Family

"Some days, I just don't enjoy being a parent": 3 single parents get brutally honest

Three single parents share the raw thoughts they rarely say out loud — from quiet envy to exhaustion and a fear that keeps them awake at night.

Schuster Borka
When "helping" becomes control: 3 mothers on the mother-in-law who crossed the line — Family

When "helping" becomes control: 3 mothers on the mother-in-law who crossed the line

Sometimes the hardest part of a relationship isn't your partner — it's the family around you. Three mothers share how support slowly turned into control.

Schuster Borka
"He never once wanted to deal with the baby" — women share the truth about useless new dads — Family

"He never once wanted to deal with the baby" — women share the truth about useless new dads

Not every husband rises to the moment when a baby arrives. These raw stories reveal how the wrong partner can quietly wreck a new mother's mental health.

Szőke Angéla
Your Kids Already Know Your Marriage Is in Trouble — Even If You've Never Said a Word — Family

Your Kids Already Know Your Marriage Is in Trouble — Even If You've Never Said a Word

Children pick up on every crack in a marriage, even when parents hide it perfectly. These real stories show just how much kids see — and feel — in silence.

Szőke Angéla
The invisible workload that quietly burns women out — and how to finally put it down — Family

The invisible workload that quietly burns women out — and how to finally put it down

He does the dishes and the school runs, so why am I so exhausted? The answer is the mental load — the invisible work women carry until they burn out.

Szabó Erzsébet
"I Don't Love My Own Child" — One Mother's Confession About the Taboo No One Talks About — Family

"I Don't Love My Own Child" — One Mother's Confession About the Taboo No One Talks About

I sat at the kitchen table, my coffee long cold, and said it out loud for the first time: I don't love my child the way I'm supposed to.

Váradi Petra